St Joseph with the Flowering Rod, Jusepe de Ribera, early 1630s [Wikipedia]
This is an edited version of a post published on 13 March 2013. May I ask anyone who reads this to check out the website of Pastoral Care Project. This wonderful ecumenical ministry, initiated by Mrs Frances Molloy in the Archdiocese of Birmingham, England, focuses on the spiritual needs of persons with dementia.
Though this post is somewhat late, as the week of prayer is almost over, it is never too late to care for persons with dementia, often family members or individuals we have known in their prime. God calls some to this form of loving service every day.
Though this post is somewhat late, as the week of prayer is almost over, it is never too late to care for persons with dementia, often family members or individuals we have known in their prime. God calls some to this form of loving service every day.
Long ago I used to be a young man
and dear Margaret remembers that for me.
The Dutchman is a song written by Michael Peter Smith in 1968. It's about an elderly couple living in Amsterdam, Margaret and the title character. The unnamed Dutchman has dementia and Margaret cares for him with a sadness over what has happened to him over the years. It's a story of unconditional love.
Portrait of an Old Man with Beard, Van Gogh,1885
Rijksmuseum Van Gogh, Amsterdam [Web Gallery of Art)]
I became involved with The Pastoral Care Project in the Archdiocese of Birmingham, England, while based in the Columban house in Solihull from September 2000 to April 2002 when I moved to Glasgow, Scotland, though I stayed there for only a few months before returning to the Philippines. The mission statement of the Project is above. I first got involved when the founder of the Project, Mrs Frances Molloy, invited me to celebrate Mass in a home for old people.
The mission statement of the Project is above. The focus is on the spiritual needs of those who are frail, especially mentally. The Project also works with carers, not all of whom would understand the spiritual needs of those they are looking after. And the carers themselves need some care too as their work can be very demanding.
Michael Peter Smith's song, sung with such feeling by the late Liam Clancy and Tommy Makem, captures something of what is asked of those taking care of a person with dementia, who is very often a spouse or a parent, in the lines, Long ago I used to be a young man / and dear Margaret remembers that for me.
The Project's Dementia Prayer Week has been running since 12 March and ends on the
Feast of St Joseph, 19 March. .
I studied Shakespeare's As You Like It in school. (Stratford-on-Avon is in the Archdiocese of Birmingham and not far from the office of The Pastoral Care Project.) I always liked the famous speech of Jacques, The Seven Ages of Man or All the world's a stage. But a 15-year-old cannot understand the closing lines in the way Richard Pasco does here:
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Portrait of an Old Woman, Peter Bruegel the Elder, c.1564
Alte Pinakothek, Munich [Web Gallery of Art]
O Lord we pray for all those whose work is dedicated
to the assessment and care of those who experience
confusion and profound memory loss.
For all who work as Healthcare Professionals in
everyday care and research into the causes of
Dementia of many kinds.
May they be strengthened in their work of service
with individuals, families and friends.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Written in 2009 for the Pastoral Care Project by Rev’d Canon Edward Pogmore,
Chaplain Co-ordinator, The George Eliot Hospital NHS Trust and North Warwickshire Primary Care Trust.
At the Pastoral Care Project we are often asked how parishes can respond to dementia. One example where a parish visiting team offers lunch after the regular first Friday Mass. This helps overcome isolation and also provides opportunities for parishioners to contribute; through baking, or serving.
For those whose interest is music and leading services there are also online resources. Music touches people at a very deep level and so sensitivity to the choice of music or hymns is important because of the memories evoked.
Hymns which they would have sung at Mass are helpful; times when they felt God was very close, confirmed by one carer so wisely said “People with dementia have an awareness of God – God is also aware of them.”
Carers too need support. When a former elderly carer whose wife with dementia was hospitalised he would visit and help feed her and give her drinks and ensure she was well cared for, even though he was frail himself. He would sing songs, hymns and pray with her. After her death he found comfort through praying and writing poetry; by donating the poems to the Pastoral Care Project he felt solidarity with people with dementia and those in similar caring situations.
The Washing of the Feet, Sieger Koder
The following poem was composed by him as he reflected on the painting of the Washing of the Feet by Sieger Koder during one of the Pastoral Care Projects’ Quiet Day for Carers.
The Water of your Blessing©
Do not kneel, My Lord.
It is for me to kneel
At your feet.
With your loving hands you
Touch my feet…
Loving, gentle hands
Which made those who ail and hurt
Whole and well.
You washed your feet with
Water cool and soothing…
The water of your
Blessings.
You dried my feet with
Linen pure; and gentleness.
But infinitely you washed
My heart…
A heart ‘oft grieved and saddened.
You drew me close and called me Son,
And filled me with your grace,
Your great Amen
The Water of your Blessing©
Do not kneel, My Lord.
It is for me to kneel
At your feet.
With your loving hands you
Touch my feet…
Loving, gentle hands
Which made those who ail and hurt
Whole and well.
You washed your feet with
Water cool and soothing…
The water of your
Blessings.
You dried my feet with
Linen pure; and gentleness.
But infinitely you washed
My heart…
A heart ‘oft grieved and saddened.
You drew me close and called me Son,
And filled me with your grace,
Your great Amen
The Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia 12-19th March involves us all – for everyone knows someone who is affected by dementia. Think about dementia? You can’t help but get involved in some small way to make a difference to someone? Baking a few scones, sharing with a neighbour or sell to friends and raise a few desperately needed pounds for the Pastoral Care Project . You will be helping others through us to create opportunities to make the lives of people with dementia more fulfilling
Please contact Frances Molloy, Project Manager at the Pastoral Care Project, St George's House, Gerards Way, Coleshill, B46 3FG, England. telephone 01675 434035,www.pastoralcareproject.org.uk email info@pastoralcareproject.org.uk
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