Long ago I used to be a young man
and dear Margaret remembers that for me.
The Dutchman is a song written by Michael Peter Smith in 1968. It's about an elderly couple living in Amsterdam, Margaret and the title character. The unnamed Dutchman has dementia and Margaret cares for him with a sadness over what has happened to him over the years. It's a story of unconditional love.
I became involved with The Pastoral Care Project in the Archdiocese of Birmingham, England, while based in the Columban house in Solihull from September 2000 to April 2002 when I moved to Glasgow, Scotland, though I stayed there for only a few months before returning to the Philippines. The mission statement of the Project is above. I first got involved when the founder of the Project, Mrs Frances Molloy, invited me to celebrate Mass in a home for old people.
The mission statement of the Project is above. The focus is on the spiritual needs of those who are frail, especially mentally. The Project also works with carers, not all of whom would understand the spiritual needs of those they are looking after. And the carers themselves need some care too as their work can be very demanding.
Michael Peter Smith's song, sung with such feeling by the late Liam Clancy and Tommy Makem, captures something of what is asked of those taking care of a person with dementia, who is very often a spouse or a parent, in the lines, Long ago I used to be a young man / and dear Margaret remembers that for me.
The Project is holding a National Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia. One of the activities suggested is Bake 'n' Share. Those taking part are asked to Create something whereby your visit with an elderly person focuses on their interests. The visit can become a hub of activity generating memories of the moment and a feeling of fulfilment.
It doesn't have to be baking but something the older person can be involved in and that will give a sense of purpose to that person, a sense of continuity with the past. The visitor remembers that for me.
I studied Shakespeare's As You Like It in school. (Stratford-on-Avon is in the Archdiocese of Birmingham and not far from the office of The Pastoral Care Project.) I always liked the famous speech of Jacques, The Seven Ages of Man or All the world's a stage. But a 15-year-old cannot understand the closing lines in the way Richard Pasco does here:
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Prayer for Healthcare Professionals ©
O Lord we pray for all those whose work is dedicated
to the assessment and care of those who experience
confusion and profound memory loss.
For all who work as Healthcare Professionals in
everyday care and research into the causes of
Dementia of many kinds.
May they be strengthened in their work of service
with individuals, families and friends.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Written in 2009 for the Pastoral Care Project by Rev’d Canon Edward Pogmore,
Chaplain Co-ordinator, The George Eliot Hospital NHS Trust and North Warwickshire Primary Care Trust.
The following is a press release by the Pastoral Care Project. Bishop David Christopher McGough is an auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Birmingham.
National
Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia takes place 12th – 19th March 2013 and
it is the initiative of the Pastoral Care
Project.
Introducing the forthcoming Week, Bishop McGough, lead Bishop for the Pastoral Care Project said, "I am pleased to commend the national week of prayer and
awareness of dementia. Few of us can imagine the isolation, and consequent
anxiety, that this affliction brings both to those who suffer and their
families. Through prayer let us ground ourselves in our communion with the
Lord, making ourselves one with the many who suffer and those who care for
them."
Everyone can participate in this week
by visiting www. pastoralcareproject.org.uk using
the resources to organise an event or to
join in existing event locally.
Frances
Molloy, Project Manager would like to thank everyone who gave their support
last year and is hopeful that this years’ event will be supported more widely. “It is an important week for people with
dementia and for our charity, so, whether you purchase Prayer Cards or host an event you will be helping to raise
awareness and you will be supporting the ongoing work of the Pastoral Care Project. These are difficult times which have also impacted
on the people with dementia and their carers; so making use of these resources
may bring about new initiatives in parishes and help to reduce the isolation.
Reducing
isolation is ongoing and to get started we are launching Bake and Share. “wonderful
scones mummy used to make” Face book
message.
When
you think of home made scones, what memories arise? Bake and Share is a simple
way to foster parish friendships and visit the sick and housebound. What about
their carers, and their needs? Visiting
with freshly baked scones; shared over a pot of tea is an enriching experience.
This new initiative has been adopted by Communitas - an inter-faith project. Their Coffee
Morning on 14th at English Martyrs’, Birmingham will combine Prayer,
baking and selling scones to raise funds for the Pastoral
Care Project.
Another
known event; Camplehaye Care Home in
Devon will be having an ecumenical service on Friday 15th for the
residents, relatives and staff to pray and share friendship followed by
Devonshire Cream Tea.
Schools
– a few to date in the UK holding special assemblies. Our Lady of the Angel’s
Infant School and St Joseph’s Junior School will be contributing to the liturgy
and music for the Mass celebrated by Bishop David McGough Our Lady of the
Angels, Nuneaton for the deanery on Wednesday 13th March at 11.00am. Prayer
intentions for the and the week should
be sent to the Pastoral Care Project.
At the Pastoral Care Project we are
often asked how parishes can respond to dementia. One example
where a parish visiting team offers lunch after the regular first Friday Mass. This
helps overcome isolation and also provides opportunities for parishioners to contribute;
through baking, or serving.
For those whose interest is music and leading services there are also online
resources. Music touches people at a very deep level and so sensitivity to the
choice of music or hymns is important because of the memories evoked.
Hymns
which they would have sung at Mass are helpful; times when they felt God was
very close, confirmed by one carer so wisely said “People with dementia have an
awareness of God – God is also aware of them.”
Carers too need support. When a former elderly carer whose wife with dementia
was hospitalised he would visit and help feed her and give her drinks and
ensure she was well cared for, even though he was frail himself. He would sing
songs, hymns and pray with her. After her death he found comfort through praying and writing poetry; by
donating the poems to the Pastoral Care Project he felt solidarity with people
with dementia and those in similar caring situations.
The
following poem was composed by him as he reflected on the painting of the
Washing of the Feet by Sieger Koder
during one of the Pastoral Care Projects’ Quiet Day for Carers.
The Water of your Blessing©
Do not kneel, My Lord.
It is for me to kneel
At your feet.
With your loving hands you
Touch my feet…
Loving, gentle hands
Which made those who ail and hurt
Whole and well.
You washed your feet with
Water cool and soothing…
The water of your
Blessings.
You dried my feet with
Linen pure; and gentleness.
But infinitely you washed
My heart…
A heart ‘oft grieved and saddened.
You drew me close and called me Son,
And filled me with your grace,
Your great Amen
The
Week of Prayer and Awareness of Dementia 12-19th March involves us
all – for everyone knows someone who is affected by dementia. Think about
dementia? You can’t help but get
involved in some small way to make a difference to someone? Baking a few
scones, sharing with a neighbour or sell to friends and raise a few desperately
needed pounds for the Pastoral Care Project . You will be helping others through
us to create opportunities to make the lives of people with dementia more
fulfilling
Parishes
are contacting regularly to update the events calendar, for example, All
Hallows in Miskin, Cardiff diocese are having a mass on 19th March
the feast of St Joseph a lovely closing to the week of prayer.
We
will help where we can, or let us know what your parish or school might be
organising? For further information or donations please contact Frances Molloy,
Project Manager at the Pastoral Care
Project, St Gerard’s, Coventry Road, Coleshill, B46 3ED, telephone 01675
434035, www.pastoralcareproject.org.uk
email info@pastoralcareproject.org.uk
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