Since we are travellers and pilgrims in the world, let us ever ponder on the end of the road, that is of our life, for the end of our roadway is our home (St Columban, 8th sermon).
21 February 2025
To forgive is a decision. Sunday Reflections, 7th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year C
GospelLuke 6:27-38 (English Standard
Version, Anglicised)
At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘I say
to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those
who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the
cheek, offer the other also; and from one who takes away your cloak do not
withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you; and from one
who takes away your goods, do not demand them back. And as you wish that others
would do to you, do so to them.
‘If you love those who love you, what benefit is
that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to
those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that
to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love
your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your
reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to
the ungrateful and the evil.
‘Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be
condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to
you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put
into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.’
Love your enemies, Jesus tells us twice in today's Gospel, which concludes with his words Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. These words of Jesus are perhaps the most difficult of all to follow.
Fifty years ago I was chaplain in a third-level school in the Philippines run by religious sisters. One day the Directress asked me to go to the station of the Philippine Constabulary (PC) in the city. One of the male students was filing a case against another. The two had been close friends but had had a serious disagreement. I went to the station with some reluctance. It was during the early years of martial law in the Philippines and the PC was deeply involved in this. They were the national police force at the time and part of the military. (In 1991 the civilian National Police Force replaced the PC.) I saw the PC as part of 'the enemy of the people'.
I was pleasantly surprised when I met the officer on duty, a major as far as I can recall. He was speaking to the young man filing the charge when I arrived and was trying unsuccessfully to persuade him not to go ahead with this move. The other student was also present.
The officer gave me a warm and courteous welcome. When I told him why I was there he suggested that I speak to the student filing the charge and brought us to a room where we could have some privacy.
As it happened, this young man had attended a weekend retreat for male students in the college that I had given only a week or two before in the local seminary. I had remembered how well he had participated and told him that. We spoke about the retreat and how it had challenged all of us. And I reminded him that all the participants had availed of the chance to go to confession.
I could see that he was reflecting on all of this as I brought up the question of his filing a charge against a man who had been his best friend. I gently encouraged him to drop the case. I could see in his physical behaviour the inner struggle he was going through. His whole body had tightened up. The tension within him was great and very obvious. After a long struggle he agreed to withdraw the charge.
We went back to the officer on duty and the student told him that he was dropping the charge. The other student was there and very relieved to hear this. The officer encouraged them to shake hands, which they did, though the student dropping the charge didn't do so with great enthusiasm.
However, he had done something very difficult: he had decided to forgive the man who had been his friend. He still had strong and painful feelings. But forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling. It is a decision made with God's grace. In some situations it can be like major surgery. The surgery heals but physical pain still remains and takes time to disappear naturally. A scar that usually doesn't bother us may remain. In some instances there may be a permanent mark such as lameness after an operation on the back, for example. But healing has taken place.
And our feelings in a situation like this need time to subside, depending on the gravity of the situation.
For my own part, I was very grateful for the kindness, thoughtfulness and wisdom of the PC officer. He had acted entirely as a friend in this situation, not as an 'enemy of the people'. I had to take that on board and not condemn everyone in the PC out of hand. Some years later, in another place, I celebrated the funeral Mass of a PC officer who had been murdered. His daughter was a student of mine at the time.
I do not know if the former friendship between the two young men in the story was rekindled. Perhaps I should have followed up. I was then a young, inexperienced priest. They would now be in their late 60s and the PC officer probably in his late 80s. This week I have been praying for the three of them.
The ongoing grace for me from that incident is the awareness that forgiveness can be very difficult but, with God's grace, not impossible. The young man who withdrew his charge against his friend was the bearer of that grace from God for me, just as the PC officer and I were the bearers of God's grace to him enabling him to make the decision to forgive.
The source of grace to be able to forgive is Jesus himself who said on the Cross:Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).
And as for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bring forth fruit with patience (Luke 8:15; Gospel) .
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