Since we are travellers and pilgrims in the world, let us ever ponder on the end of the road, that is of our life, for the end of our roadway is our home (St Columban, 8th sermon).
A few years ago while at home
from the Philippines I was celebrating Sunday Mass in Blanchardstown,
Dublin, when I noticed a family coming in a little late. I realised the parents
were Filipinos. They came right up to the front of the church. What touched me
was that the husband/father was carrying the couple’s infant.
In
November 2014 I was in the pre-departure area of Incheon Airport, Seoul, for a
flight back to Manila. I saw a Filipino father with his son who clearly had just
recently learned to walk and was taking sheer delight in running around. He
wasn’t disturbing anyone as there was plenty of space. The child’s father
stayed at a distance, moving around and keeping an eye on his son while giving him
space. I can imagine St Joseph doing exactly the same with the Child Jesus when he had just learned to walk.
Philippe de Champaigne’s
painting shows St Joseph carrying Jesus into the temple, just as the young Filipino father carried his infant child to the church in Dublin that Sunday morning.
In his book Jesus of Nazareth, The Infancy Narratives
Pope Benedict quotes Matthew 1:21: [Mary]
will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. The Pope
then writes, Together with the
instruction to take Mary as his wife, Joseph is asked to give a name to the
child and thus legally to adopt it as his.
St Joseph was the legal father of Jesus according
to Jewish law, much more than a foster father, important though such a person
may be in the lives of many.
The Church honours St Joseph on 19 March as ‘Saint
Joseph, Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary.’ That is his greatest title, the one
also used in the Eucharistic Prayers of the Mass. It was as husband of
Mary that he was known as the father of
Jesus – and was a real father to him.
Below is a video of one of the best talks on
fatherhood I have ever heard. It was given during an online conference
organised by the Legion of Mary in Dublin on the theme of St Joseph. The
speaker, Mickey Harte, is a national and successful figure in Ireland in Gaelic
Football, a major sport that is native to the country. Ten years ago his daughter
Michaela was murdered on her honeymoon in Mauritius aged 27. He speaks about
her briefly during his talk.
It
is also clear that Mickey learned how to be a father from his own father. I have
seen the same in my own family. He also suggests that if we know of a family
that doesn’t have a father-figure to ‘adopt’ that family in the sense of
praying specifically for them to St Joseph that they will find such a figure.
He also points out that it is a manly thing to pray and how he learned from his father to be the leader in family prayer.
Collect of the
Mass of Saint Joseph, Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary
Grant, we pray, almighty God,
that
by Saint Joseph’s intercession
your
Church may constantly watch over
the unfolding of the mysteries of human
salvation,
whose beginnings you entrusted to his faithful care.
Through our Lord
Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy
Spirit,
GospelLuke 2:22-40 [or 22, 39-40] (English Standard Version Anglicised: India)
And when the time came for their purification according to
the Law of Moses, they [the parents of Jesus] brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the
Lord [(as it is written in the Law
of the Lord, “Every male who first opens the womb shall be called holy to
the Lord”)and to
offer a sacrifice according to what is said in the Law of the
Lord, “a pair of turtle-doves, or two young pigeons”.Now there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name
was Simeon, and this man was righteous and devout, waiting
for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him.And it had been revealed to him by the Holy
Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord's
Christ.And he came
in the Spirit into the temple, and when the parents brought in the child
Jesus, to do for him according to the custom of the Law,he took him up in his arms and blessed
God and said,
“Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in
peace,
according to your word;
for my
eyes have seen your salvation
that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and for glory to your people Israel.”
And his
father and his mother marvelled at what was said about him. And Simeon
blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is
appointed for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a
sign that is opposed (and a sword will pierce through your own soul
also), so that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed.”
And there
was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher.
She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when
she was a virgin, and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She
did not depart from the temple, worshipping with fasting and prayer
night and day. And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to
God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of
Jerusalem.]
And when they had performed everything
according to the Law of the Lord, they returned into Galilee, to their own
town of Nazareth.And the child grew and became strong, filled
with wisdom. And the favour of God was upon him.
My late father visited me in the Philippines for six weeks in 1981, arriving on 16 February, one day before St John Paul II made his first visit as Pope. My Dad spent most of the time with me in a small seminary for diocesan seminarians that I was in charge of for two years in Tangub City, Misamis Occidental. Before that I had spent less than three months as parish priest of Tangub, the last Columban priest to hold that position.
One evening a family invited my father and myself to visit their home. We went with some other parishioners. When we were walking home slowly someone commented that my father and I were walking in exactly the same way, with our hands behind our backs. I had never been conscious of that before. I recalled Sunday mornings when I was a child when my father would take my brother and myself for a walk in the Phoenix Park, the largest enclosed park in any capital city in Europe, which was about ten minutes' walk from where we lived. Our walks in the Park were usually more of an amble or a mosey rather than the determined 'keep fit' type of walk that so many engage in today.
But my friend's comment in Tangub City made me realise that I had unconsciously picked up this kind of ambling from my Dad.
I learned a lot more from him without being aware of it. When my brother Paddy, who is three years younger than me, was very young my Dad would take me to Sunday Mass while my Mam stayed at home withe the baby and went to a later Mass. I gradually became aware that my father went to an early Mass every day of his working life before going to work on construction sites. (Like St Joseph he was a carpenter and was named 'John Joseph'.) I noticed that after Mass he prepared my mother's breakfast and I often saw him during winter cleaning the grate from the fire the day before, taking away the ashes, and preparing it for the fire that would be lit later in the day. All of this before going to work.
I saw how he deeply respected my mother, and everyone else he met, most especially the men who worked under him on construction sites. I worked with him on one of those during the summer of 1967 when I was a subdeacon. I was ordained the following December. I saw at first hand what I already knew. He never swore, never raised his voice, was a real mentor to young workers, and led by example. He was a quiet man, with a sense of responsibility that he carried lightly and with a quiet sense of humour.
In a number of places Pope Benedict XVI reminds us that St Joseph is the legal father of Jesus: Therefore let us venerate the legal father of Jesus (cf. Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 532), because the new man is outlined in him, who looks with trust and courage to the future. He does not follow his own plans but entrusts himself without reserve to the infinite mercy of the One who will fulfil the prophecies and open the time of salvation. This is because he named Jesus, as the angel had instructed him in Matthew 1:21 - She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. On 19 March the Church celebrates the Solemnity of Saint Joseph, Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Today's gospel refers to Joseph and Mary as his father and mother. Jesus in his humanity learned how to behave as boy and as an adolescent from St Joseph. He learned the trade of a carpenter from St Joseph. Most likely he walked like St Joseph. And we can be sure that St Joseph took him to the synagogue on the sabbath. In today's gospel St Joseph and Mary take the infant Jesus to the Temple to present him to the Lord. They took him again to the Temple when he was twelve. These two events are marked in the fourth and fifth Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary.
It was Joseph as husband of Mary who led the pregnant Mary to Bethlehem as shown in Pieter Bruegel the Elder's painting above, The Census at Bethlehem. The artist shows the Holy Family coming into a 16th-century Netherlands village in the depths of winter, nobody noticing them. This shows on the one hand that He was in the
world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.He came to his own, and his own people did
not receive him (John 1:10-11). It shows on the other hand that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us (John 1:14). God who became Man threw in his lot with us. He came into our townland, our village, our town, our city.The villagers in Bruegel's painting haven't rejected Jesus but they haven't yet recognised him.
St Joseph is central to all of this. He exemplifies the vocation of the husband and its consequence for most husbands, the vocation of the father, to an extent that no one else has done. He was the man whom Mary honoured as her husband and whom Jesus called Dad / Papa / Tatay.
Pope Francis, who has a great
devotion to St Joseph, has declared 8 December 2020 - 8 December 2021 a Year of St Joseph. In his apostolic
letter proclaiming this, Patris corde[With
a Father’s Heart), he begins with this sentence: WITH A FATHER’S
HEART: that is how Joseph loved Jesus, whom all four Gospels refer to as ‘the son of Joseph’.
Pope Francis writes: The greatness of Saint Joseph is that he was the spouse of Mary and the
father of Jesus. In this way, he placed himself, in the words of Saint John
Chrysostom, ‘at the service of the entire plan of salvation’.
The
letter of Pope Francis has much to say about fatherhood. One example reminds me
of my own father: Being a father entails
introducing children to life and reality. Not holding them back, being
overprotective or possessive, but rather making them capable of deciding for
themselves, enjoying freedom and exploring new possibilities.
Whenever I would have an important examination or was doing something for the
first time he would never put pressure on me. He would simply say, The experience will be good for you. I
still find that to be true and to be encouraging.
There
is much food for reflection and prayer in Patris corde.
Pope Francis and the Sleeping St Joseph
Extraordinary Form of the Mass
Traditional Latin Mass (TLM)
Sunday Within the Octave of the Nativity of Our Lord.
The complete Mass in Latin and English is here. (Adjust the date at the top of that page to 12-27-2020, if necessary).
Authentic beauty, however, unlocks the yearning of the human heart, the profound desire to know, to love, to go towards the Other, to reach for the Beyond.
Readings(Jerusalem Bible: Australia,
England & Wales, India [optional], Ireland, New Zealand, Pakistan,
Scotland, South Africa)
GospelLuke 2:22-40 [or 2-32] (New
Revised Standard Version, Anglicised Catholic Edition, Canada)
When the
time came for their purification according to the law of Moses, they brought
him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (as it is written in the law of the Lord, ‘Every firstborn
male shall be designated as holy to the Lord’), and they offered a sacrifice according to what is stated in
the law of the Lord, ‘a pair of turtle-doves or two young pigeons.’
Now
there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon; this man was righteous
and devout, looking forward to the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit
rested on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he
would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah.Guided by the Spirit, Simeon came
into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him
what was customary under the law, Simeon took him
in his arms and praised God, saying,
‘Master,
now you are dismissing your servant in peace, according to your word;
for my eyes have seen your
salvation, which you have prepared in the
presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people
Israel.’
[And the child’s father and mother were
amazed at what was being said about him. Then Simeon blessed
them and said to his mother Mary, ‘This child is destined for the falling and
the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed—and a
sword will pierce your own soul too.’
There was also a prophet, Anna the
daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was of a great age, having
lived with her husband for seven years after her marriage, then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left
the temple but worshipped there with fasting and prayer night and day. At that moment she came, and began to praise God and to
speak about the child to all who were looking for the redemption of
Jerusalem.
When they had finished everything required by the law of
the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and
the favour of God was upon him.]
The late Stephen
Cardinal Kim Sou-Hwan, Archbishop of Seoul, with a young friend. The cardinal's
paternal grandparents were sentenced to death during the last persecution of
Catholics in Korea, in 1869. His grandfather was killed but the persecutors
spared his grandmother because she was pregnant. The child in her womb was the Cardinal's father.
Renante and Christine Alejo-Uy with Kiefer Thomas, their first born
About ten years ago while celebrating
Sunday Mass in St Brigid's Parish, Blanchardstown, just north-west of Dublin
city, where my brother and his wife live, I saw a young couple coming in at the
back of the church a few minutes after Mass had begun. I smiled inwardly when I
realised they were Filipinos. But then they came right up to the front pew and
I was really touched to see the husband/father carrying their little child.
In the video of the Presentation in
the Temple, produced by 'Rosary Priest' Fr Patrick Peyton's Family Theater,
it is St Joseph who carries Jesus. St Luke doesn't specify this. But he does
tell us that Simeon took him in his arms. The photo of the late
Cardinal Kim above evokes this scene for me. What fills me with awe is the fact
that his grandmother was spared by the persecutors in 1869 because she was
pregnant, while his grandfather wasn't.
In Jewish law the man who named a child was considered his legal father. When I
was a child I always heard St Joseph spoken of as the foster-father of Jesus.
But St Matthew tells us: Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and
unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her
quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord
appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to
take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.She
will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people
from their sins' (Matt1:19-21).
You are to name him Jesus means
that St Joseph is being called by God to be a true father to the Son of his
wife Mary. And the Church honours St Joseph above all as the Spouse of the
Blessed Virgin Mary. And it is through Joseph, son of David being
his legal father that Jesus is of the line of David as God had promised.
Pope Francis has spoken a number of times about the faith of one of his
grandmothers and how she helped to form him. The God-fearing mother, facing all
kinds of adversity as she brings up her children in the faith has become almost
a cliché. I don't mean any disrespect whatever to such mothers or to any
mothers. But the emphasis on the role of the mother and grandmother in the
raising of children in the faith tends, I think, to take away from the equally
important role of the father and of the grandfather.
When I was a small child it was my father who brought me to Sunday Mass while
my mother would stay at home with my brother, three years younger, when he was
an infant. She would go to another Mass. I saw my father, who spent his working
life on building (construction) sites, where he was a highly respected general
foreman, get up very early every morning, go to Mass, come home and prepare my
mother's breakfast and bring it to her in bed. (For many, breakfast in bed is a
treat. I hate the idea!)
I saw how deeply he respected my mother, even when
they had disagreements, never raising his voice to her or to anyone else,
including us his two sons. I saw the same when I worked with him on a building
site the summer before I was ordained. He never raised his voice there either
and he never swore. He led by example and the men had profound respect for him.
Some of those told me how great a mentor he was when they were still young and
learning their trade. He had been blessed in a similar way when he started as
an apprentice carpenter at 15.
My father taught me how to swim and how to ride a bicycle, letting go when he
judged that I could go solo. I can still recall the joy in each instance when I
realised that I was indeed going solo.
As I said above, St Luke doesn't specify that it was St Joseph who carried
Jesus into the Temple. But the director of the video of the Presentation gives
us an insight into the role of St Joseph. He was, as her husband, to be the
protector of Mary and of her Son and he was, as his legal father, to be the
mentor/teacher of Jesus in how to grow into manhood and in how to be a carpenter.
There is one telling scene when Simeon reaches out to take Jesus in his arms.
Joseph doesn't hand him over without looking at Mary and getting her
approval. As I grew older I could see that my parents made important
decisions together such as which school they should send us to.
Simeon and Anna show us the importance of older persons in
the lives of young parents and of children. When we are children the most
significant older persons are our grandparents. Each Sunday morning my father
would bring us to meet our grandfather who was widowed a couple of days after
my brother was born. And I saw my maternal grandmother, widowed when I was less
than two, very often. When I was in secondary school I often dropped into our
parish church on my way home in the afternoon. There were always old people,
including my grandfather, praying silently in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I
sometimes dropped into other churches and would find the same. There are many things we can
reflect on as we celebrate the Presentation of the Lord. But for me it stirs up
once again immense gratitude to God for my late father and an appreciation of
the great responsibility that the vocation to be a husband/father carries,
something, I think, that we as Church need to emphasise more. The young Filipino
husband/father carrying his child right up to the front of the church in
Dublin, even though he and his wife were a little late, reminded me of the
wonder of that vocation. And when we were choosing a photo of the Uy Family for
the cover of Misyon,of which I was editor from 2002 until 2017, I simply had to go for the one above.
Nunc
dimittis servum tuum, Domine, secundum verbum tuum in pace:
Quia
viderunt oculi mei salutare tuum
Quod parasti
ante faciem omnium populorum:
Lumen ad
revelationem gentium, et gloriam plebis tuae Israel (Luke 2:29-32, Latin
Vulgate).
Master, now
you are dismissing your servant in peace, according to your word; for my eyes
have seen your salvation, which
you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for
revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your
people Israel (NRSVCE).
Readings(Jerusalem Bible: Australia,
England & Wales, India [optional], Ireland, New Zealand, Pakistan,
Scotland, South Africa)
GospelMatthew 2:13-15, 19-23 (New
Revised Standard Version, Anglicised Catholic Edition, Canada)
Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord
appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother,
and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to
search for the child, to destroy him.’ Then Joseph got up, took the child
and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was
to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, ‘Out of Egypt I
have called my son.’
When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly
appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, ‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the
land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child’s life are dead.’ Then Joseph got up, took the child and his
mother, and went to the land of Israel. But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea
in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned
in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee. There he made his home in a town called Nazareth, so
that what had been spoken through the prophets might be fulfilled, ‘He will be
called a Nazorean.’
St Joseph is central in the Christmas story
as St Matthew tells it. His role is to be the husband of Mary. It is as such
that he names Mary’s son and so becomes his legal father (Mt 1:21). It is as
husband of Mary that he ‘took the child and his mother by night’ and fled to
Egypt. It is as husband of Mary that he ‘took the child and his mother, and
went to the land of Israel’. It was as husband of Mary that ‘he was afraid to
go there’ (Judea) and risk not only his own life but theirs and took them
instead to Galilee
The major feast of St Joseph, on 19 March, honors him as
‘Husband of Mary’. I can’t help repeating that the primary vocation of a
married couple is to be spouses, not parents. It is as loving spouses that they
become loving parents. This was most clearly expressed for me by an 11-year-old
boy at a family day of Worldwide Marriage Encounter in Bacolod City, Philippines, during
an activity for the pre-teens. They were asked what they loved most about their
parents. He said, ‘What I love most about my parents is that they are always
together’.
A wife can fail as a spouse by giving more attention to her
children than to their father. Nobody questions the love of a mother. But it
can be a temptation. If a husband, who has pledged his life to his wife ‘till
death do us part’ thinks that he is not any more the most important person in the life of his wife he may be more easily tempted to look elsewhere, with tragic
consequences for the whole family.
So many married couples in the Philippines, and elsewhere,
are separated by the fact that one is working overseas, sometimes both and
possibly in different countries. It is vital that they have living and vibrant
communication. Modern technology has made that possible in almost every part of
the globe. I knew one Filipino couple nine or ten years ago where the husband was on a scholarship in
Japan and who talked every night using Skype. And their
children had a chance to see and talk to their father as he saw and talked to
them.
GospelMatthew 1:18-24 (New Revised
Standard Version, Anglicised Catholic Edition, Canada)
Now the
birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary
had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be
with child from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph,
being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned
to dismiss her quietly. But just when he had
resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,
‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the
child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he
will save his people from their sins.’ All this took place to
fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
‘Look,
the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel’,
which means, ‘God is with us.’ When Joseph awoke from
sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife.
In December 2002 I met a man in
Manila, Mang Pepe, and his daughter Ligaya whose story
reminded me so much of that of Joseph and Jesus in today's gospel. The story
of Mang Pepe and Ligaya is told here by a Columban lay
missionary from Korea, Columba Chang, who worked for many years in the Manila
area and whose ministry at the time she wrote this story was to families
affected by HIV/AIDS. The names used aren't their real names. 'Pepe' is a
nickname for a man named Jose or Joseph. 'Mang' is a Tagalog
term of respect for a man older than oneself. 'Aling' is the
equivalent term for a woman. The name 'Ligaya' means 'Joy'. The story was first
published, as I recall, in a newsletter ofCaritas Manilaand I used it in the November-December
2003 issue of MISYON, the Columban magazine in the Philippines that
I edited from 2002 until 2017. I republished itin the November-December 2015 issue of the
magazine, now calledMISYONonline.com.
I think it is a story worth telling over and over again. Columba was assigned to Myanmar as a member of a small team of Columban Lay Missionaries for some years but is now back in her home country, Korea. I
have updated the introduction.
According to official Philippine government figures there were more
than ten million Filipinos, about ten percent of the population, overseas as of
December 2012, more than half of them temporary or irregular in the countries
where they are staying. These temporary and irregular residents are mostly
Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs). They greatly help our country’s economy by
the money they send home. However sometimes we seem to take them for
granted, thinking that they have an easy life abroad. Read Aling Maria’s
story and find out the dangers our OFWs face and the abuses they
experience. We thank ‘Mang Pepe’ for his help in writing this article in
which we’ve changed the names.
I met Mang Pepe and his daughter
Ligaya through my work with Caritas Manila. I visit the family
regularly. They live in a poor part of the city and Mang Pepe makes a
living by doing odd jobs. My work takes me to families affected by
HIV/AIDS. I knew Mang Pepe’s story before he shared it with the
congregation at the Saturday evening Mass in Baclaran Church on 7 December 2002
at the end of a celebration organized by Caritas Manila for World AIDS
Day. (Baclaran Church is the huge Redemptorist church in Parañaque
City, Metro Manila, filled to capacity all day every Wednesday when the
Perpetual Novena to the Mother of Perpetual Help is celebrated from morning
till evening.)
Greener Pastures
Mang Pepe
and his wife Aling Maria were having difficulties putting
their five children through school. This sometimes led to
arguments. Eventually Aling Maria decided to work in the
Middle East. She felt happy when accepted as a nursing aide with a two-year
contract in the UAE. She prepared her documents. She and Pepe sold
their house and lot for her fare and placement fee. She flew out on 5
February 1989, full of hope for her family’s future financial stability.
Aling Maria
soon discovered that her contract as a nursing aid was terminated just a few
months after she arrived, without any hope of renewal. But she didn’t
want to go back to the Philippines with an empty pocket. She decided to
take the ‘TNT’ ('Tago ng
tago', a Tagalog expression meaning to
be an illegal immigrant worker) route. She managed to
find a series of jobs as a saleslady, cashier and office worker.
Columba (inset) in Manila
Hope
turns into a nightmare
As an illegal worker, Aling Maria was often subjected
to different abuses like underpayment, long hours of working without a day off
and so on. But the worst thing was when one of her employers took advantage of
her and made her pregnant. When she came home to the Philippines in October
1993 Mang Pepe and the family were very shocked to learn
that Aling Maria carried a child in her womb. She hadn’t
mentioned anything about this before. However, despite this they still
welcomed her and the child with joy . . . but deep in their hearts there was a
shadow of sadness, fear and uncertainty.
After a few days the tabloids reported that three Filipino overseas
workers had been sent home because of being infected with HIV, the virus that
causes AIDS – and that one of them was Aling Maria. These
stories, and the rumors they spawned, continued for a month. Some
relatives, neighbors and friends rejected Aling Maria. The children
of Mang Pepe and Aling Maria were torn
apart. Some wanted to quit school and leave the area. The family
suffered greatly because of the stigma.
Confirmed HIV
Aling Maria
and Mang Pepe went to the Department of Health (DOH) for a
series of blood tests. The tests confirmed what Aling Maria
knew already, that she and her ‘little mercy child,’ as Mang Pepe
called his wife’s daughter had HIV. The doctor gave them counseling and
advice and information about HIV/AIDS.
Ligaya is born
Aling Maria
decided not to say in the hospital and continued to work as a pension plan
insurance agent. In time she gave birth to a baby girl whom they named
Ligaya. Gradually, however, Mang Pepe saw his dear wife
turning into a picture of misery as she suffered from constant headaches and
flu. Aling Maria was hoping for a miracle that would
ease her agony. It was not to be. The HIV developed into full-blown
AIDS. Her appetite disappeared until she couldn’t eat
anymore. Mang Pepe and the children saw Aling Maria
slowly dying. He prepared the family to accept her death as the will of
God. She died on 15 December 1997, aged 46.
Like everyone else in Baclaran Church, I was deeply
touched by Mang Pepe’s story, even though he had told it to me
many times. I was touched by the great love of this simple man who
accepted as his own a daughter who was the fruit of the brutal violation of his
wife. Mang Pepe is ‘Tatay’ to
Ligaya. Her schoolmates sometimes tease her because her features clearly
show her Middle Eastern origins. But her Tatay stands by
her, as do her brothers and sisters.
Columba with a friend in Manila
Proud to be
her Tatay
Tatay Pepe is proud of Ligaya’s
singing ability and smiled as she sang at the celebration in Baclaran.
Ligaya is very proud of her Tatay and knows the depth of his
love as a father. She has very uncertain health and is often in the
hospital. The shadow of AIDS hangs over her.
St Joseph named Jesus, the Son of
Mary, and thereby became his legal father. He loved Mary, his wife, and
raised Jesus as his own son. Mang Pepe has gone through
the agony of knowing that his wife was violated overseas, after dishonest
employers had taken advantage of her in other ways. When she brought home
a child who was not his, he made her his own. This latter-day St Joseph
in Manila has given much joy to his daughter Ligaya as she has given much joy
to him and others, like myself, who have come to know and love her.
I was in Baclaran Church that day at
the invitation of Columba and, during an activity before Mass, came to know
‘Ligaya’ as a friend. Shortly before she died towards the end of 2004 I had the
privilege of talking to her on Columba’s mobile phone. She was a delightful
child. The light of heaven upon her.
The late American Scripture scholar Fr Raymond E.
Brown SS points out that St Joseph, by taking Mary as his wife and by naming
her Son, as the angel in today's gospel told him to do, in Jewish law, became
the legal father of Jesus, something more than being his foster-father, as he
is often described. And because St Joseph was of the line of David, so was
Jesus, as the Messiah was foretold to be.
The Church honours St Joseph above all as the
Husband (or Spouse) of Mary. Pope Francis has underlined this by adding the
words 'and blessed Joseph her spouse' to Eucharistic Prayers II III and IV, as
they were added to the Roman Canon (now also known as 'Eucharistic Prayer I')
by Blessed Pope John XXIII.
Mang Pepe
totally welcomed Aling Maria back from the Middle East as his
wife whom he loved, despite his initial shock at what had happened to her. And
he totally welcomed her daughter Ligaya as his own, as St Joseph welcomed the
Son of Mary as his own.
Today's Gospel reminds us of the fact that the
basic vocation, ie, call from God, of every married couple is to be spouses,
not to be parents. Being parents is a consequence of their being spouses. I'm
well aware that there are single parents, many of whom have never been married,
who are heroically raising their children, often in very difficult
circumstances. But it is God's will that children be born within marriage.
St Joseph was a loving husband to Mary and a loving
father to her Son Jesus, God who became Man. Mang Pepe
continued to be a loving husband to Aling Maria until she died
and was a proud and loving father to her daughter Ligaya, as I could see so
clearly.
Today's Gospel shows us something of the wonder of
being called to be a husband and father and of the immense responsibility that
goes with that. St Joseph as husband and father enabled Mary and Jesus to carry
out the mission that God the Father had given them.
What applies to husbands/fathers applies equally to
wives/mothers.
And the
Gospel reminds us very clearly that in God's plan the foundation of the family
is marriage, that is, of husband and wife, of man and woman. It can never be
anything else.
Motet for five voices (SATTB) by William Byrd (c. 1540-1623)
