A Life of Thanksgiving

(I wrote this prayer after I had given my YES to the invitation to answer God’s Call. - Joan B. Yap)

Lord here I am

Wanting to do your will

So weak and frail

Anytime it will break

Lord here I am

Happy with all the knowledge; and

Fear that I may not be enough for you

But your love fills the emptiness

Anxieties and fears trouble me

but you never give up on me;

am I in the right direction?

Touch always my heart

You are the source of everything

The light of my life

The meaning of my life

Hear me when I say

I surrender!

Empty me, I pray

For in you I find the fulfillment

And that would be the greatest gift

that I give to myself

and making you as my life.

Lord I am weak

I love you

And you love me

And this is what matters most.

Joan Blaza Yap

A LIFE OF THANKSGIVING

by Joan Blaza Yap, Columban Lay Missionary

I am Joan Yap, fifth child of the late Mr. Lito Yap and Josefa Blaza Yap. I am one of the fruits of the love of two people who offered most of their life to the Prelature and now the Diocese of Ipil. I am blessed by a family and by a circle of friends who, even when we were young, had already taught us how to serve and believe in God’s providence. I am now committing myself, after my sisters Jennifer and Jasmine, to the life of a Lay Missionary under the Columban Lay Missionaries of the Missionary Society of St Columban. 

I remember well - before I resigned from the Social Action Ministry of the Diocese of Ipil - I shed so many tears because it was so hard for me to let go of the things that I was already comfortable with. I had come to love my work and the people whom I used to work and serve with.

Rowena D. Cuanico, Coordinator, Columban Lay Missionaries - Philippines

I was inspired by the commitment of the many people here in the Diocese, the priests, religious and the lay, who have offered most of their life in building the church of the Diocese of Ipil. Life isn’t that easy for them - going to barrios riding on a habal-habal or sometimes walking for miles. They attend to the needs of others so unselfishly, rain or shine, giving seminars even to the point of leaving their family behind. They are undaunted by threats to their life, and even rejection, pain and difficulties, all for the sake of justice and peace. With and despite all these difficulties, I can still clearly see the smiles on their faces, a joy so simple and real, a joy that can only come from the grace that they have served God in their own special ways.




St Joseph the Worker Cathedral, Ipil

I am moved especially by the commitment of the lay as co-partners in building the kingdom of God here in the Diocese of Ipil. Their dedication to love, serve and respect their communities as well as the generous offering of their life for the church – all these taught and inspired me that Life will be more meaningful and fulfilling if I choose to share it to others. I will be forever grateful for the privilege of working with the people here in the Diocese of Ipil. My YES to God’s invitation is truly a gift from God, that I may partake in His mission and an invitation to live my faith into action.

My experiences here in the Diocese of Ipil have opened my eyes to see God’s mysterious presence in different situations, from environmental issues and concerns to human rights violations especially against women, peace and order, poverty, health issues, youth. These all challenged me to become an instrument of Hope and Love.

Joan receiving a blessing from Bishop Julius S. Tonel of Ipil

And now offering my life to the Columban Lay Missionaries is a great blessing and gift to me. It’s an invitation for me to come to know who I am as a gift. It gives me an opportunity to better understand myself, get hold of myself and most importantly, to experience and acknowledge God’s unconditional love for me. It’s a journey of love, an experience of forgiveness and of the healing of wounds. My wounds become the gift and the blessing for myself and for others.

Joan

Please allow me to share to you how my number Nine works for me as part of God’s mysterious plan in my Life. To start with, I was formed in my mother’s womb for NINE months with my twin sister. My parents at that time were working in the different ministries of the then Prelature and now the Diocese of Ipil. Then God gave me NINE wonderful people in life, my parents, who were the first missionaries that I came to know and who taught us that prayer and service go together. Then my four brothers and three sisters who shower me with their love and care are my community of LOVE. Then the meaningful NINE years with the Social Action Ministry of the Diocese of Ipil that formed and molded me to be a local missionary. Being with the Social Action Ministry nurtured my vocation to be of service to others because I was inspired by the sincere commitment of the people.  And God is the God of Order who, before sending me to where God wants me to go, has blessed me with this Gift of the NINE-month Orientation Program of the Columban Lay Missionaries.  It’s a journey of knowing God through others, a journey of going deeper into myself with my God and finally, a journey of responding with God’s love to others.

'Thank you', from Joan

And as a fitting part of the Magical Nine in my life, it was Bishop Joy who chose May 9 as the date for my commissioning Mass which happens to be a joint celebration for the gifts of vocation for Lay Mission, Deaconate and Priesthood.

With some current and former Columban Lay Missionaries

I am sure that there will be other significant events in my life associated with 9! As I am going to encounter my lucky number, I am holding on to God’s promise that He will be the one holding me. I am looking forward with awe and amazement to bear witness to God’s love. This comes from this great personal realization that when I start emptying myself, surrendering myself to God’s will because I love God most, it is when I am given a new life. I realize that God’s will is simply Love.

Is Joan reflecting on St Columban's words: 'Since we are travellers and pilgrims in the world, let us ever ponder on the end of the road, that is of our life, for the end of our roadway is our home'?

What Jesus said to his disciples; ‘Go into the whole world and proclaim the Good News to every creature’ has become a deeply personal, more real and even bigger challenge for me to spread his Gospel of love to everyone I meet.

A stop on the journey!

A piece of bread . . . blessed, broken, and shared

Reina Mosqueda, one of three Columban Lay Missionaries who will soon be going to Taiwan for three years, had her mission-sending Mass last Sunday in her home parish. Below is a reflection she wrote on an experience she had 13 years ago, a story very similar to one that happened in Japan after the recent earthquake and tsunami. 'Out of the mouth of infants and of sucklings thou hast perfected praise' (Ps 8:2, quoted by Jesus in Matthew 21:16). Marilyn, the girl Reina tells us about was no longer an infant of a suckling but old enough to make a loving, unselfish choice. She had no idea that her choice would lead Reina to make a choice to follow God's call to be a missionary years late.

A piece of bread . . . blessed, broken, and shared

Supper at Emmaus, Hendrick Terbrugghen, c.1621

I had an experience that has made a strong mark in my heart until this very moment. It is this experience that has encouraged me more to serve other people.  It has left a deep impact on my life that I will always be grateful for.   While this happened 13 years ago during my last year in college, it is still very vivid in my memory.  Every Sunday afternoon, I would join the Salesian Sisters of Don Bosco in their apostolate in the neighboring town.  We would gather the children and youth at the grounds of the elementary school beside the Parish Church.  We would play, dance, sing, teach catechism and prepare them for Mass.  I was teaching a group of student aged 11-13.  They were few but very consistent in their attendance.  I was happy being with them.  Indeed I was enjoying my apostolate.  

The mission-sending Mass

Every December, we would give a Christmas Party for some children from all the apostolate centers of the Sisters.  We would select children who were really financially poor.  On one occasion the party was held in a university in Quezon City.  We traveled very early for almost two hours from Laguna.  Since some of the children hadn’t yet eaten their breakfast, we knew that they would feel hungry as soon as we arrived.  We were so fortunate to have many sponsors from different food companies.  A few minutes after we arrived, we started to distribute bread and drinks to the children.  How beautiful it was to see volunteers giving snacks to the children and how the children expressed their thanks!  After the snacks were given out, a Sister led the prayer before meals.  Then we volunteers went around and assisted the children.  

One of my students caught my attention so I went to her and asked, ‘O, Marilyn bakit hindi mo kinakain yang snack mo?’ (‘Marilyn, why haven’t you eaten your snack?’) Then I also asked her, ‘Hindi ka ba nagugutom?’  (‘Aren’t you hungry?’) I was struck by her answer.  ‘Ipapasalubong ko po ito ate, sa mga kapatid ko’ (‘I’ll bring this home for my brothers and sisters’) she replied.  As she is holding the bread, I saw how happy she was.  I saw the smile on her face and excitement in her heart because she had something to give to her siblings when she got home.  I gave her another piece of bread and told her to keep the other one in her bag.  I was astonished by her action.  I couldn’t control my tears so I went to the corner and there I cried.  

Reina with Fr Joe Segudo, parish priest

Marilyn was very active in our Sunday class.  She came from a poor and large family.  Almost every Sunday she would wear the same clothes.  Maybe they were the only fine clothes she had. And sometimes if no one would take care of her younger siblings during that day, she would bring them to our class.  She really loved to attend our Sunday school. Those were the few things I know about her. I admired her because of her eagerness to learn about Jesus.  But she inspired me because of what she did during the Christmas party.  

Was she not hungry herself?  Why think of others first when you are also in need?  How come that at her young age she was already thinking of the needs of her siblings? She did not feel her own hunger. But instead she thought of sharing what she had with others.  She had forgotten herself but remembered her siblings.  How beautiful was her act of kindness and generosity!  What moved her to do that?  Those were the thoughts that were ringing in my ears. Yes, this experience had disturbed me. I felt that there was something stirring deep within me. Many activities happened during that day but Marilyn struck me most.  Her physical hunger didn’t stop her from doing an act of kindness to others. Truly, it was love that moved her to give, to share what she had without expecting anything in return.  Pure and authentic love gave the child deep joy in sharing the bread.  

Columban Fr Patrick Baker

The child did not only feed her siblings but she fed me too.  Through her example, I witnessed a life with the Living Bread which is Jesus, himself – generous, kind and true. Like the Gospel passage that says ‘I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live forever’ (John 6:51).  For me, Marilyn was bread from heaven, a person who in her young age was already sharing her goodness to others in her own simple way. She didn’t know how much she had encouraged me to do the same to live a life with God who sustains and nourishes me in fulfilling his great plan for me every day.  Having a deeper relationship with Him, ‘a relationship of trust, love and gratitude’ is now my stronghold. 

With this experience during college, I got interested in reading life stories of missionaries in different magazines in our library.  There I came to know the Columban lay missionaries through Misyon magazine.  Since then, I was inspired to be a missionary either as a nun, a married person or lay.  Even though the desire was already there, it took me some years to discern.  I was enjoying my work as a teacher for several years and I thought the desire to be a missionary would die away.  I thought anyway that I was still serving God and his people through my work.  But no, the desire did not die but even grew stronger and stronger every day until one day I decided to resign from my work and look for a mission group.  While searching, I knew that having a local involvement here in the Philippines was one of the requirements.  So I first joined a full-time volunteer group, the Jesuit Volunteers Philippines or JVP.  I was assigned to Bukidnon for two years as a house-parent, community worker, formator, and youth organizer.  I worked with Deaf children and youth in my first year, and in the second with Indigenous high school students.  I felt so blessed to be immersed in different kinds of communities that are in need and marginalized.  I am not saying that I didn’t experience pain, difficulties and hardship during my JVP years but I looked at those as periods of grace from God.  The experience helped me to grow and be a better person, woman, and Christian.

Reina making her commitment

A few months before the end of my last year in JVP, I did discern well whether to continue in becoming a missionary.  Yes, I thought that two years in JVP would be enough.  But God had his own plans in putting me on the path I wanted to walk on in life.  God used different people and events in leading me to go back to my desire to be a missionary – a Columban lay missionary or CLM.  

 

With Columbans, mostly lay missionaries, after the Mass

For almost two years I discerned again while I was working in an NGO (non-government organization) for the Deaf.  Finally, I took the risk of applying to the CLM.  Joy, excitement, fear, and anxiety were just some of the many feelings I had when CLM accepted me for the nine-month Orientation Program.  I am blessed to be with two beautiful persons (Joan Yap and She Capili) in the orientation program.  God is so good that he gave me graces that I needed during the program.  The graces of openness, courage and joy helped me continue.  The program provided us with a venue to discover more about ourselves as individuals and as a community enriching different aspects of our lives.  For me, discovering myself to be freer in responding to the Living Bread wasn’t easy.  What I really appreciated in the program was discovering my relationship with God,  how my relationship with him affects my relationship with myself and others,  and how I will sustain this relationship in my everyday life,  and how will I be open to God to be used for his glory.  Truly, the program and CLM community generously gave me the support to respond to the call. 

 With family members and Fr Segudo after the Mass

There is deep joy and gratitude here in my heart now that I am being sent to the mission in Taiwan.  I feel anxious, afraid and worried about my stay there but I will use these feelings to be my strength and good reminders to remain humble.  I am now ready to be bread for others – blessed, broken and shared.

' . . . relationship with people is more important than any amount I could withdraw with my ATM cards'

'…relationship with people is more important than any amount I could withdraw with my ATM cards'– Sherryl Lou C. Capili, PH-19, Columban Lay Missionaries-Philippines

'She' (pronounced 'sheh') Capili had her mission-sending ceremony last Sunday in Silang, CAvite, a place where Columbans worked before for many years. She wrote this reflection before the ceremony.

San Antonio de Padua Church

At home, I am 'Che-Che' but most of my friends call me 'She'. I am the eldest among three. I had a different plan for my life before. When my father passed away when I was very young, I made sure to do my best in school so I could get high grades. I was thinking that the medals would be my ticket to get a nice job with high pay so I could help my mother in sending my younger brothers to school. I was struggling to get better jobs as I tried one after the other. As a Mass Communications graduate, I dreamed of working for the giant television networks, film outfits, and famous charitable institutions. All these came true. I was also given an opportunity to teach college students on a part-time basiswhile I was pursuing my graduate studies and working at ABS-CBN Foundation, all at the same time.

She with children



Aside from these, I was also dreaming of traveling and doing some volunteer work and a short-term exposure in Rwanda and in other challenging places where I could possibly do a video documentary film. At that time, I was not even familiar with the term 'missionary'.

With dreams I’d already fulfilled and with the bigger goals in mind, I felt that something was still missing. I was not into developing my spiritual life. I was not a practicing Catholic at all. In fact, I would only hear Mass at Christmas, New Year, or at weddings and funerals. I was preoccupied with my earthly needs and desires. Everything was just about me, my public image, my achievements. I would only spend time for prayer when I needed something or when extremely happy for successfully getting what I wanted. For me, prayer was just an activity. In other words, I did not have a personal relationship with God.

A word of thanks from She at the end of the mission-sending Mass



The turning point in my faith journey happened during a three-day retreat I attended in December 2008 with the Singles Apostolate of the St James Renewal Movement in Ayala, Alabang. Although I’d been to Catholic schools during my high school, college, and graduate studies years, I was not able to take good care of and nourish my relationship with God. After the reatreat, I found myself actively participating in the community’s monthly prayer meetings and other activities and attending more retreats until God led me to Malate Parish where I read about the Columbans. After four fruitful years, I resigned from ABS-CBN Foundation, leaving what I considered my second family and home in exchange for another uncertain journey with the Columban Lay Missionaries (CLM).

She teaching children

I never thought that it would be possible in my case to leave a wonderful job and the benefits I was receiving. I was anxious about so many things before I finally felt the courage to just let go and trust in God’s plans. I felt at peace with the idea that I wouldn’t be having an income and I had to redefine my role in the family. I came to that point when I was craving for this quest for what God had for me by living and sharing with people of another culture, creed, and race. I was excited to learn through them and see how God loves them and is present in them. Detaching from what I used to do, what I had, my comfort zones, and the people dear to me was difficult but realizing what the nine-month orientation program was about made me look forward to the brighter side of this new path.

She with her mother Marina Castillo Capili

The orientation program gave me the chance to look back at my life experiences and I realized how God had been preparing me for this lay missionary journey. It was such a grace for me to see that those events that happened in the past 29 years, both painful and joyful, were part of His molding of me. Now I understand why God made me a catechist to children when I was in high school and college. Now I understand why God let me experience being a teacher and relating with the youth. Now it is clear to me as to why I am really fond of meeting people from all walks of life. He has been refining my heart from being self-centered towards moving to others. He has been trying to win me back all the while, only that I was pretending to be blind and deaf to acknowledge his greater plans. I realized the wisdom behind the low-paying jobs I had – it was to humble me. andt make me realize that relationship with people is more important than any amount I could withdraw with my ATM cards.

In a very candid conversation that I had with a group of friends several years ago about our plans, dreams, and goals I said, 'I want to be very rich so I could give to many people in need'. Now, I discovered that I have been very wealthy since the day I was borne. By 'being rich', I refer to having a very supportive family who are understanding enough to let me go and live in another country to share in Jesus’ mission; that my treasures are not the material things I have but my friends, co-workers, teachers, community, and other people who have been part of my joys and pains as well as my successes and failures; that I have wonderful gifts and talents from God that I can share and an open and humble heart to learn from others too; that I am extremely wealthy to the extent that I am drowning in God’s love and graces.

I am still in awe at what I have received from the orientation program. I am a recipient of the Columbans’ generous hearts in sharing their own experiences in mission. Being surrounded and guided by them made me more inspired in my discernment process. The experiences and learning are way beyond what I thought before I entered the CLM. I am very grateful to God for directing my heart to be here now. I thought I had the best plans for my life but, indeed, God revealed to me that his plans are always the grandest. Aside from developing a deeper personal relationship with God, the most significant aspect of the orientation program was self-awareness. I’m grateful for our group work and the ten-week Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) program. The process was painful as I traced and discovered that how I react in a given situation has something to do with an experience in the past; that I was afraid to make mistakes and I tried to block the feelings of sadness and anger by being independent and strong; that I wanted to control situations without realizing how I could affect others . . . but it was a good pain as I learned and grew in being able to manage my issues.

In the Islamic City of Marawi. She is wearing a white veil

The Mindanao exposure helped me see more clearly how it is to be a missionary: living with and listening to people, understanding their concerns and needs, sharing in their hopes and prayers, respecting their culture, giving them words of affirmation, sharing my own faith experience and God’s love to people I've just met; responding to them when I had the means to do so and being humble to be silent and be pleased that my mere presence was enough. I have a growing respect for other people as I embrace the fact that we have our own histories. Our homestay at the Islamic City of Marawi and with a group of indigenous people in Bukidnon made me realize that despite the differences that we have in terms of cultural/religious beliefs, still we all share in some common pains and joys as human beings. Even if we have different languages or dialect, we have a common language, and that is love.

Visiting Hangop Kabataan in Pagadian City, the project of Fr Michael Sinnott who was kidnapped in October 2009.

I have learned to slowly let go and let God – one thing that I found very difficult to say before. I never imagined that I could be courageous enough to say ‘yes’ to being a lay missionary as I temporarily leave my family, friends, and all other things I have held in my life. Although I still hold other dreams to fulfill, for now, my heart’s desire is to respond to this call of being a Columban Lay Missionary in Taiwan. `

The past nine months have been the most wonderful blessing that I received from God as he sent me the graces to be open and ready to know more about myself before I could minister to others. I have my weaknesses, limitations, and wounds that I may carry with me for the rest of my life but God always reminds me how he loves me no matter what. God tells me that when I go to Taiwan, I have my talents and gifts to share as well as my own wounds that could possibly be an instrument for others’ healing. God never gets tired of affirming me and assuring me that he has chosen me and all I should do is to trust that his plans are the grandest.

With Reina Mosqueda, far left, and Joan Yap, far right, her two CLM companions bound for Taiwan, and young friends at Hangop Kabataan, Pagadian City.



Columban Lay Missionaries: Come and See

Dear friends,

Mabuhay from the Lay Mission community of the Philippines!

We have heard of the many amazing stories of how God has called people sometimes in dramatic, unexpected and even funny ways. And we have also heard how our family, friends, maybe even boyfriends and girlfriends, classmates, and work mates, have played their part in God’s scheme of things. That is why we are writing you to request, enlist, solicit, ask, and plead for your help.

The Columban Lay Missionaries will hold Come and See Days – Saturday, 19th July and on Saturday, 23rd August at the Columban Lay Mission House, 34 Rosario Drive, Cubao, Quezon City. It will be an opportunity for us to get to know each other and hopefully help people discern their vocation in life.

Dear friends, we believe that you too can play a part in a vocation story that might unfold! So please share this with your friends, relatives, and workmates – let the word go forth! Or who knows that it is your own vocation story that is unfolding right at this very moment!
We are counting on you.

May the God who calls each of us by name be our guide and inspiration.

Take care.

Sincerely yours,

Rowena D. Cuanico

Coordinator

Phone: 02-722 5732 / 401 9722. Cell phone: 0927 8085120

Email: clmssc_phil@yahoo.com

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Read Rowena 'Weng' Cuanico's article about one of her many experiences in Fiji as a Columban Lay Missionary, Everyday Life With Muslims, in the current issue of Misyon here.

Above: Weng Cuanico is fourth from the right.

Elma Guia recently returned to the Philippines after three years in Taiwan as Columban Lay Missionary. She writes about here experiences in the November-December 2007 issue of Misyon.